2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
