"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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