i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Enjoy the penises
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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