I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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