sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
