Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
