Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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