I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
