Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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