Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
