i'm signing you up for texting rehab
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize