I didn't shave. On purpose
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
