I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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