It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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