He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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