my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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