guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
