she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
