Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize