please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
