Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
