What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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