His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
