I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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