So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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