just tell him i said nine months
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
