erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
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I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
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Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
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