Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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