We got so high we made milksteak
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
