dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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