Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
