Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
