Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
