If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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