Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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