I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
