now i know why i became what i already was.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
