maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize