the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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