dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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