THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
