We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize