I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize