Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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