he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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