similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
