Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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