So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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