If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
