He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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