You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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