im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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