Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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