i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
