White coat. Heels.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
