Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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