Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
