you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
