So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
