I just made out with a guy for $7.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
